The Blessings of the Black Turtleneck
Welcome 2023! Typically when I take a pen in hand and have a blank page before me, I am able to speak. I have kept journals all of my life, even wrote them for three children, well until they were 6, 8 and 10. I figured that by then I could stop writing, because they would be able to hand their journals over to a psychiatrist and say “ here read these and see if I can be helped !” I’m kidding…some of the most profound moments of their childhoods were captured in my words, from my perspective with so much love and gratitude for being their mother, and I hope it lets them see into my mind and soul.
There is something therapeutic for me when I take a pen in hand, perhaps because I am a calligrapher and writing itself is an expression of art for me, I do not know. I have been wanting to blog for the longest time but have not found a keyboard comfortable. I am eager to change this perspective and blog more regularly.
For as long as I can remember, I have anticipated and looked forward to the first rainy, windy, miserable gray fall day when I can put on a black turtleneck! My excitement is always quickly tempered by the thought of which black turtleneck to choose first. Do I feel like the cashmere splurge, tunic jersey, cotton with a bit of spandex, and so on and so on. I will admit to having 10 black turtlenecks, (wink wink…more like 25) some mock turtleneck with short sleeves, cowl neck with sleeves that are folded over, ribbed cotton jersey with three quarter sleeves, no sleeves….etc.etc.etc. As silly as it may sound, I find comfort in the black turtleneck. Like a cozy throw, a crackling fireplace, the smell of lemon, coffee or chocolate, for me the black turtleneck evokes warmth. Once I pull that tight neck over my face, free my hair and uncrumple my face I feel protected and surprisingly very put together. The black turtleneck can be dressed up or down, it can be made of wool, silk you name, and almost everyone looks good in one.
Strangely, I am not at all alone in the adoration of the black turtle neck, it was of course Steve Jobs uniform. I learned that Steve Jobs asked fashion designer Issey Miyake to design a vest for Apple employees, a uniform so to speak, but Miyake ended up designing the black turtleneck that became Jobs trademark, and really, it just seemed so apropos for him, didn’t it? Then there have been others who hijacked the black turtleneck, as an example, Elizabeth Holmes, the convicted fraudster who opted for the black turtleneck uniform, stating that she began wearing the black turtleneck as a child. There are articles written about Holmes obsession with Jobs, and how she mimicked the black turtleneck uniform accordingly.
So why an item of clothing would be the subject of my blog? During the worst of the Pandemic I lost my mobility. You can read about that in the blog titled “Holy S..t, I’m Down…Literally !!“ All activities of daily living are impacted when you lose use of your legs. Although I have been confined to a wheelchair for over a year and a half, I am able to manage my daily activities of living unassisted, in fact I am even able to drive a regular car with no modifications. When I lost the use of my legs, getting dressed became a huge challenge, and I realized that for simplicity my wardrobe would simply be dresses, one easy piece of clothing to put on. June 15, 2020, my Dad’s birthday marked the day that I lost my mobility, it was summer and warm outside. I had many summer dresses, so it did not occur to me that I did not have a black turtleneck dress. When the notion that I did not have a black turtleneck dress crossed my mind I almost panicked, thank goodness for E commerce, where you can find and buy anything and get it the next day! Losing one's mobility takes so much from a person, you lose agency over your movements in the world and you have to depend on others for assistance whenever you want to get from point A to point B . It was and still is particularly difficult for me as a Mother, as MS has profoundly impacted my children and my husband, still losing my ability to walk makes all the other esoteric symptoms over the last 25 plus years pale in comparison.
Again, you might be wondering, what about the black turtleneck ties in this blog? The explanation is the simple fact that the black turtleneck makes me feel good, so good that I actually anticipate the first day I can now put on my favorite black turtleneck dress! It was no surprise that the cover of the book titled “ I Feel Bad About My Neck “ written by the esteemed Nora Efron shows the author wearing a black turtleneck…. that she has pulled up to her nose! (Perhaps only woman of a certain age can giggle at that, the book is wonderful, like all of Efron’s work) As I have grown older and become more mindful and able to access the present moment, I have learned to relish the simple things that bring me joy. A smile, a handwritten card, a beautiful sunset, a call from a friend, a daffodil in bloom, an old James Taylor song, a piping hot cup of coffee and of course a black turtleneck.
So yes the blessing of the black turtleneck is simple, it brings me joy, and in that joy I find comfort! I have learned that when my mood is low and I am in need of a boost, I look for the simple and immediate things that can lift my mood in just a second. Choose things that bring you comfort, a good book, movie or a meal. In dealing with the complexities and difficulties of losing my mobility I often remind myself of all the good and then try to access something that will simply, quickly, in fact immediately make me feel better.
On this rainy, gray January 3, 2023, as the world grieves former Pope Benedict, and our House works to elect a Leader, I watch the TV news with a steaming hot cup of coffee, smiling as the aroma of my coffee mixes with the Jean Nate I sprayed on my new favorite ribbed, cotton blend black maxi turtleneck dress.
Have a great day
With lots of love,
Stephanie
