The Smile Experiment

I shared a room with my older sister until I was 11 when my parents converted the guest room,  (Grandpa’s room) painting it Jelly Apple Red and Hot Hot Hot Pink for me.  I loved my own room  but missed the days when my Dad would come to our door to wake us for school.  My Dad would say: “ Girls wake up, and if you wake with a smile you will have a great day!!!”  He never said anything about waking up on the wrong side of the bed, probably because both of our beds were up against the walls and there was only one side of the bed to get out of.  Nevertheless, I always wondered if he was right about the smile thing and I wanted to do an experiment to see if  he was correct.

I have been having difficulty walking lately and need to use a cane or rollator.  As my mobility has waned it has become more difficult to look up at people and make any kind of eye contact, let alone smile at them.  Typically, I’m concerned with each step and counting steps helps me to keep me focused on my feet.  On this day, the day of the experiment, I endeavored to take my time and actively attempt to smile at everyone whose eyes I met, even  if it meant that I would need to stop in place, one this day I would do just that.

First off to the Supermarket.  I had a cart, so no need for a  cane, and with a cart, I can walk and look up at the same time, no problem.  In the produce section, I checked out the apples and I picked one up to put in a bag when of course a cascade of apples fell to the floor.  Immediately, a young woman rushed to my side as I was trying to return the apples to the bin that they came from.  Our eyes met and I smiled as big as I could. I immediately relaxed and knew that there was someone right there to help me collect up all the apples. If not for her help collecting those apples I could have called it a day from the exhaustion of bending up and down with leak legs….ugh..hurts me to think of it. Up and down every aisle, making eye contact and smiling at everyone I see. You sort of start feeling special, seeking eye contact, feeling that you have actually touched every person that you smiled at, like you sprinkled some stardust or something. This is not to say that everyone smiled back, some people looked at me as if I were, you know let’s say the word “odd”, still there were no hostile responses, not one, most folks just smiled back.

I started to notice that maybe the smile is a secret power. I mean seriously,  you try it, when you smile at someone, inevitably they smile back, it’s like they can’t help it, it’s a reflex for most. I know that yawns have been studied and that if one person yawns, others around them will begin to yawn as well.  I still wondered if a smile could do the same.  Online checking out there was the need for a price check for this elderly woman two people in front of me.  There was a young mother with two toddlers and a baby, and in front of her a young man in his mid twenties dressed for work, meaning he was wearing a tie and button down shirt, tucked in.  Well there is nothing better than cooing and smiling at a baby so this was easy.  Turns out, yes and no, it was easy to connect with the baby and the toddlers, babies are always examining new faces and once they learn to smile….well, enough said.  The young mother seemed overwhelmed and made it difficult for me to see her face, as if she were embarrassed or something.  When we finally did make eye contact, I smiled as big as I could and her tired Mom face of three little ones woke up, I could literally see her eyes shine.  One of the toddlers started screaming for something, maybe a candy bar, I’m not sure.  The young man in front of us turned to see what the commotion was about and  when I caught his eye I smiled.  Soon enough he was talking to the toddler, distracting her, quieting her just beautifully.  There was a little conversation, how I remember being just where she was, that I had three children four years old and under, and how those days seemed so long.  I gave myself a few moments to remember those hectic and beautiful days with my children.   I loved the physicality of having one on my hip, while attending to a scrape on the knee of another, as I pushed the third on a swing in my backyard. I enjoyed all of it, well maybe not 6 years in diapers, that not so much.

Moving right along thinking that my Dad really had something with this smile thing, I attended a PTA meeting at the High School.  PTA’s as we used to call them, not PTO’s as they are referred to now are run like military operations.  Really, I never saw so many alpha females as I did at the first PTA meeting I attended,  in their Preschool!!  The agenda was short, still there are always different points of view at these meetings and in my experience, people just want to be heard, so I settled into my seat.  I smiled at the woman sitting next to me to my right and scanned the women assembled in the Auditorium.  I spotted a neighbor, made eye contact and smiled at her as I would anyway, but then the President herself, big big smile there. I cannot explain it, and if I did not see it myself I am telling you that I would not believe it……the most uplifting, not one  argument  PTA meeting I have ever attended. I planted those three smiles and they literally moved through the room and shifted the tone of the meeting.

From there I’m off to get a fresh cup of coffee,  feeling pretty good about this entire smile experiment so far. I am walking with a cane into my favorite coffee shop, and from out of nowhere, a man ran to open the door for me.  He actually came from the bike shop next door,  he noticed me walking with my cane and just like that came to help.  I ordered my coffee feeling really good about the entire situation and I couldn’t help it, I smiled at the young man who took my order, and then he told me that the coffee was on him and he gave me a doughnut, sending me off and telling me to have a great day.   

That was all I needed to confirm that my father was correct.  There is POWER in a smile, real energy, think of what it feels like to be hugged, receive a compliment.  When we smile at one another, it comes before a handshake or hug.  It is an expression of acknowledgement of the other person, it is like a hug, but it is appropriate in all situations. A smile is a welcome, an opening, an expression of warmth towards another human being. Why not try the Smile Experiment yourself, and see what transpires. A smile changes everything, it makes it easier to get through a day, as it connects you to others, even for a brief moment in time. To this day I hear my Dad reminding me…if you wake up with a smile, you will have a great day, or the silky voice of Nat King Cole singing from the song Smile…”If you smile through your fear and sorrow, Smile and maybe tomorrow, you’ll see the sun shining through for you…..” I can only hope that you hum the song or remember my Dad’s advice because he was definitely right about the Smile, and so I smile generously, and I tell you……the whole world smiles at me.

With lots of love,

Stephanie