Yogi With A Cane

Yogi With A Cane

As my mobility has become more and more difficult, I have noticed that I move about the world very slowly,  like a Sloth.  I began using a cane regularly after my Mom died in 2015.  For some strange reason, I waited until my Mom died to use my cane, even though I needed it probably two years prior, and my Yogi Guru tried to highlight all the positives of using a cane.  I just could not bring myself to use the cane when my Mother was here on earth.

I would religiously attend a Gentle Yoga class on Fridays at 11:00.  The class was led by a very gifted Yogi, and we would chant Aug Goday Nameh to start, followed by a gentle yoga class laced with  some wisdom and theme from our teacher.  The Yoga studio is in a small strip mall, and for all intents and purposes seemed Handicapped Accessible, but the truth is, it was not.  There were no barriers to entering the building other than a threshold and heavy glass door.  The door's closing mechanism was tight and difficult to negotiate.  On my drive to class, I would pray that someone would be there to help me with the door and I swear that every time I approached the door, someone appeared, opened and held that door for me! With my Yoga bag slung over my left shoulder, my lavender mat hovering over my head and cane in my right hand it was difficult for me to open the door. I would literally count the steps it took for me to get from the parking lot to the door.  Counting steps would keep my focus on my feet, and it truly helped me so many times from falling. I truly began to believe in the powers of Karma, like my answered prayers for someone to help with the door.

The Studio was at the furthest end of a long hall dotted with other businesses, a Cafe, Martial Arts Studio, Massage Suite, still the class was like medicine and I adored the loose group that frequently attended.  I always tried to be early to class so I would not have to walk across the studio, down an aisle of Yoga mats 10 deep on each side.  Trying to be early and being early when you are dealing with a handicap are two different things.  It would seem that no matter how hard I tried to be on time, and believe me I tried, I had become the late one.  Walking barefoot with a cane and drop foot can be tricky to be sure.  It takes guts to walk into a Yoga Studio with any disability as Yoga has become so remarkably commercialized. Somewhere on the the ramp up to Yoga Everywhere in the last twenty years, the Yoga community has become somewhat elitist, at least in my experience, and forgot to be inclusive of those with physical disabilities. I cannot even tell you how many Yoga Studios have steps and no elevator or ramp. I remember wanting to do some training at a studio but could not because the training was on the second floor and there was no elevator. There was another wonderful seated Yoga class at a Studio that was basically accessible, but the path to the Studio from the parking lot included steps and a cobblestone path filled with beautiful foliage to negotiate, neither of which I was able to with my mobility was on the wane. My mobility losses were spread over a long period of time, years in fact. First I used a cane, then rollator, scooter when needed to wheelchair. The years of losing mobility and function took its toll even before you are no longer able to walk, because accessibility had already become an issue. You would be hard pressed to believe how many old buildings only have steps and no elevator to the second floor. Had to stop going to my Hair Salon and every Yoga class I loved, all because access was limited or impossible to negotiate.

The Friday class that I attended religiously for a few years prior to the pandemic would be beautiful and healing for me. Once I entered the studio, I would see others immediately jump up, go to the closet to get bolsters, blankets, blocks, straps or any other items we would be using.  I would literally be surrounded by their kindness, like ballerinas it seemed as if there were dancing around me as they set up my mat before I sat down on my mat.  The chanting would begin and I would feel the energy and compassion from everyone in the room, it was absolutely palpable.  Without fail, when class was over the ballerinas would descend upon my mat and start folding and rolling and cleaning up for me, literally like a synchronized dance. I would always hear from other students how beautiful my voice was when we chanted, and how my presence enriched the class for them, it was great to see me.  During the Pandemic I lost my mobility and in addition to the isolation of the Pandemic, I knew that I would have significant challenges finding and accessing a Yoga Class for disabled once the Pandemic became an Endemic, like it is now. I do my own daily practice and find YouTube videos for seated Yoga & Chair Yoga. I love Yoga with Adriene on You Tube, and even found a practice specifically for wheelchair offered by this on line Guru. The amazing thing is that Adriene offers so much free content. ( https://www.yogawithadriene.com ) and she is truly an excellent teacher. I’m fortunate to have developed my own home practice, still I yearn to go to class and only wish for Yoga studios that are accommodating, and Yoga classes and practices specifically designed for the disabled.

To be clear, it is true that Yoga will improve your strength, flexibility and balance, still the purpose of Yoga is to cultivate self-awareness, self-regulation and a higher consciousness. Seriously, Yoga is not a fashion show, nor is it an Olympic Competition it is a contemplative and physical practice that helps you connect your body mind and spirit. My Yoga practice prepared me and facilitated my crafting a daily Meditation Practice, the golden ring in Yoga.  It would be delightful to have Yoga facilities that are ADA Accessible. I cling to my Yoga Practice and am grateful to MeriLynn Blum, my Guru who helped me to understand the importance of sticking with it, to freely design my own unique and perfect practice. I often find myself visiting MeriLynn’s website (https://www.peacefulyoga.com) and listening to a myriad of dharma talks that are available free of charge. : the Present Moment, What are You Practicing, Commitment to Practice just to name a just a few.

In many ways, I wish that the Yoga community and wellness community focused more on the chronically ill, helping to support us throughout our lives. In my personal experience, I have come to understand the power that Yoga and Meditations have in terms of my own wellness. Yoga and Meditation have helped me beyond measure and still help me enjoy my best life every day. I have found it difficult to find Chair Yoga or Seated Yoga classes that are accessible.  When I finally do find a class specifically, a seated Yoga class, inevitably, the studio was inaccessible, I could not negotiate stairs well and had balance and strength issues, so finding classes and Studios to practice in was nearly impossible  There is no handbook or guide instructing and educating one on how to negotiate or access those venues and places that are accessible.  I call ahead and ask if the place I am going to is accessible and even that does not insure that it really actually is or will be. It is sort of ironic that there is so much Yoga offered, and really so little that I can access. I will never give my Yoga practice up, and I hope that Studio doors open up for those of us longing to practice as our physical disabilities progress, right when we need our Yoga Practices the most.

With lots of love,

Stephanie